Last night the Brazilians (and lo, there are thousands) made a delicious dinner WITH BLACK BEANS.

You read that right...frijoles negroes. In Argentina.
Might as well be contraband here.

I imagine hoards of crafty Brazilians, sneaking across the border with beans tucked into their...nevermind, I enjoyed the reunion very much.

I have just been invited to an informal, impromptu no-pants party on the subway next Sunday afternoon.

I feel like an expert in this field.

Apparently the organizer did a massive one in NYC. I think I attended 3 or 4 this last year in California. Soon, hopefully, it will be an international phenomenon. Maybe I can even drag the Russo! The cold war is over, beyotch, take off your pants!!!

I hate to foist the socially inept Brazilian (possibly the only one in existence) onto the Russian, but I can only listen to a litany of famous American bands he likes for so long before strangulation occurs (Lynyrd Skynyrd? Really???)

I never thought I'd grow to love cold showers as much as I do.

I love them so much I'd marry them.

HEY LA PEOPLE. a bunch of you have said you're coming to the show on thursday and haven't bought tickets. YOU MUST PREORDER TICKETS, FROM US, IF YOU ARE GOING. if you don't, or do something dumb like try to buy them from ticketmaster, we will not get paid, you will pay extra, and i will be mad at you.

order here, and ONLY here:

http://www.everythinggoescold.com/ac/

Yesterday, exhausted, I took a 10 minute power nap in between classes in the teacher's lounge, draped across the staff chairs.

Then I woke up and ate somebody else's sugar corn flakes.

I'd like to say I feel a lot better today, but waking up daily in a pool of one's own sweat has been kind of craptastic, and it's still only spring here.

I am feeling antisocial in the land of the oversocialized and hiding out in my favorite pasta haunt, trying to drink enough wine to drown out both the itch of the relentless mosquitos that plague my corpse and the stenchy sloth of my inconsiderate roommate upon imminent return to the hostel.

does anyone know someone(s) who work for yelp?

i hate using this journal as a means to ask questions / look for information... but, whatever.

My friend David admitted to me this morning that he used to have his walls plastered with posters of Brian Molko from Placebo, confused and convinced that Brian was a beautiful girl...and the eventual realization of his error broke his heart.

Ha ha!



Brian's pretty enough...a little too much like a girl for me, but the voice? His voice is like a screech owl with noseplugs being squeezed in a vice. It'd have to be serious love for me to be able to overlook a voice like that.

Dear Mosquito,

I'm glad to find out that you weren't nits, or bedbugs, or scabies, or any of those other infestations that happen to hippies like me who sleep on people's floors and share beds with lunatics and degenerates. I'm also glad I found you early enough to kill you, still full of the blood you stole from me all damned night, to quite possibly take a rejuvenating nap later before facing my students con mala leche.

I told you I would hunt you down eventually. It didn't even take that long because vengeance is a very effective motivator. I'd appreciate it if you'd contact your mosquito bretheren from the mosquito afterlife (perhaps through a mosquito ouija board?) and let them know that as they appear, so shall they die.

Vigilant,

N

I watched this a few weeks ago and If you happen to have 70 minutes to kill I highly recommend this hilarious Phantom Menace review...Yes that's right, it's a 70 minute review and it's so worth it...


This is part 1 of 7, the rest is behind the cut.

( here )

This staycation has treated me very well. Since Christmas, I have gotten about 10 hours of sleep every night, I've had time to get some form of exercise nearly every day, I've eaten a huge salad every day, I've gotten to hang out with friends a bunch, get some alone time, read a novel, watch lots of Mad Men and generally relax and let my brain heal. I'm a little scared of how things will play out when I have to go back work on Thursday. My plan is to at least look into signing up for classes at the Y or maybe get a membership at the UC gym, so I can keep up with the exercise. Also: more sleep, salads, and relaxing. That said, man, I could really get used to this life of leisure. I don't think I'd get bored at all.

So I don't look back on this time and wonder what the heck it was I did with all that time off, here's what I've been up to (keeping in mind that I got up at about noon every day, and any holes in this schedule were filled by internetting, reading magazines/books, or watching movies/TV):

• December 18-22 - In North Carolina, or traveling to/from there


• Wednesday, December 23 - Last minute Christmas shopping & wrapping


• December 24-26 - In Monterey for Christmas


• Sunday, December 27 - Serious lounging. I think the only thing we did that day was take care of friends' kitties.


• Monday, December 28 - Packed up old Cliq, walked to the UPS store to ship it, walked to Trader Joe's & did shopping, walked home, walked to UCSF Mt. Zion to get an MRI of my knee, argued with T-Mobile about my newly busted G1. (Literally, it stopped working 2 hours after I sent my Cliq back.) Walked to Brendan & Mo's to take care of their kitties, stopped by JOnathan's to take care of his kitty.


• Tuesday, December 29 - Went to yoga with Dani in the Mission. Lounged. Took care of kitties. Opened joint checking and savings accounts with Ed (!!!). Had dinner at Ti Couz with Mella, then went back to her house and looked at vacation pictures and stupid/cute/funny stuff on the internet for a couple of hours.


• Wednesday, December 30 - Packed up late Christmas presents for my aunt and cousin. Walked to the post office to mail it. Walked to Brendan & Mo's to take care of kitties. Got a bang trim. Took care of Jonathan's kitty. Re-sewed the buttons on my peacoat (they were loose); sewed up the hole in its pocket. Read Dune till 2am, finished it.


• Thursday, December 31 - Went for a run & did my at-home stretching/strengthening routine. Chatted with Andy. Made cookies. (Ed took care of Jonathan's kitty.) Went to Andy and Mella's completely unremarkable NYE party. ;) Got home at 7am.


• Friday, January 1 - Slept till 1pm. Got breakfast burritos and mimosas at Green Chile Kitchen with Brendan, Binx, and Aaron. Took care of Jonathan's kitty. Spent the rest of the day lounging in our living room, eating Chinese food, watching movies, and playing video games with Mella, Andy, Brendan, and of course Ed. Best lazy day ever.


• Saturday, January 2 - Did some low impact in-house stretching/strengthening exercises. Walked to Trader Joe's and went grocery shopping for dinner. Cooked a giant dinner for 12 people. (I made this, a vegan version of this, and a cherry coffee cake from Vegan with a Vengance that needs some tweaking before it can go on Mooflyfood. Morley made Fuck You Kale, and Mella & Andy made homemade meaty dumplings - yummmm.) (Ed took care of Jonathan's kitty.) Had people over for "Eats Fantasteek" -- a dinner party before the Beats Antique show. Went to see Beats Antique at the Independent (awesome!). Came back to our place with a few people, ate coffee cake and clementines. Bed at 3am.


• Sunday, January 3 - Pretty lazy day so far. Slept till 1. Will probably go to TJ's again to restock on clementines. Maybe go for a bike ride? It's just so nice out. Will be heading to the Post Yule Pyre this evening.

And then the only other thing I have planned for the rest of the vacation is dinner with Jordan on Monday. I go back to work on Thursday. 4 gloriously unplanned days! Yeah! So far I have no complaints about this furlough business.

I feel a little bad about deleting people from FB that want to involve me in some indulgent long-distance drama, because I'm sure ultimately they mean no harm and perhaps are dealing with some sort of chemical imbalance, but wtf, not interested in a bunch of bullshit, thx bye.

Garbage can dude, Recoletta:



I love this guy.

Crazy tree, Recoletta:



So many of these kinds of trees...so perfect for climbing...so sad that they're homeless motels that smell like piss and have rancid garbage tucked into random corners, drawing clouds of flies.

Goofy stray dog at train station:



I'd never touch a stray dog in the U.S....heck, I'm careful with all dogs, until they prove that they're not aggressive nutjobs...but the stray dogs and cats here are ridiculously friendly and affectionate, even when they're missing bits of themselves. I saw a couple of girls pull a medium sized stray dog that was having trouble jumping up from the train tracks by the skin on its back a week ago and it didn't even yelp.

Now I go with the Slovak & the Swede to dance our asses off to the Uruguayan Sunday drummers in San T. Last week the burrito guy showed up...real Mexicanish burritos with ACTUAL BEANS. So good.


In the land of a million drums
there is always something going on, on, on, on
If you can't locate your thought off
might as well go on take your dead home, home, home, home

My mama is coming down here sometime next month and we're gonna do Manchu Picchu together!

Hell yes!

new tattoo ///little bats/////////braces

I have become accustomed to watching the sun appear in the morning due to pulling S. American all nighters, which I did not previously believe possible at my advanced age.

Or as Chileno would undoubtedly say...Para lo sunrise! Para lo....morning!

riddle me this, internet:

how do saved text files in my hard drive suddenly wind up with zero bytes of data in them?

last night i discovered several files i'd saved are now blank, for no explicable reason my futile computer knowledge can come up with. some files still contain data, while others are wiped save for the name i saved them under.

has anyone ever encountered phantom loss of data? is it gone forever, or is there a chance of recovering it?

these were Neo Office files, saved as .odt, is it possible i just fucked something up when i was saving them? could the data have been lost one of the many times i had to force quit out of Neo Office? this seems unlikely, since the data was saved.

i'm flummoxed.

enlighten me.

Returned to my hostel after 2 days to find out that douchebag has been fired and kicked out by his brother, who owns the building...I have no idea who is piloting this crazy train now, but everyone is apparently still drinking.

Oh earlier I watched a bunch of young shirtless dudes arrange several mattresses on the middle of the common area floor, pile on, and then have a pillow fight.

Old Man Hefner ain't got shit on me.

Life would be perfect if only the beer fairy would come by with a case of Brahma.

I'm writing to you 6 minutes before midnight in the Southern Hemisphere to say this:

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BOLUDOS!!!!

I hope you all have fun in....5 hours, ha ha. We just finished our feast on the rooftop underneath the full moon, listening to Bob Marley. Soon, besos y ambrazos. Yay!!!

This year I will:

* Have my minions build that guest bedroom I've been meaning to add to the lair.

* Check non-perishable food supplies more regularly (weekly?) to avoid a repeat of October.

* Fill in the trap doors in the conference hall; constant threat of being dropped to one's death is bad for morale, apparently, and they're too easy for someone to crawl up through, anyway.

* Give myself super-strength. Fuck you, pickle jar, that's why.

* Steal the Millenium Star.

* Talk to my security people about the breach last month, maybe install something less Rube-Goldberg-ian and more, I don't know, actually effective for the back entrance. Seriously, there's "fixer-upper," and then there's "this place could be compromised by frickin' Aquaman."

* Remember not to feed Creature before a big day out, no matter how cute he is or how annoying the Jehovah's Witnesses are.

* Get rid of the drapes, maybe replace the whole window/wall with something more professional-looking (light-responsive glass?).

it wasn't as bad as 2008, i'll give it that.

2009 has been The Year of the Dragging Ass.

nothing really happened, a lot of things started to happen, but nothing really came to fruition. at least not in the way i'd hoped.

i still had some fun though, and some great experiences.

in no particular order i...

-worked on makeup for some photo shoots and fashion shows and short films and a commercial.
-worked in a cafe, and managed to gather some excellently bad yelp reviews.
-spent time with my boyfriend and my awesome roommates.
-kissed the most beautiful girl i've ever met, then i kissed her some more.
-hung out at the armory.
-watched a minor celebrity strip down naked, and then proceed to writhe on a man's lap in a darkened room of a private party.
-drank too much.
-watched a lot of excellently bad movies
-enjoyed having goth_kitty finally back home in california
-skipped burning man
-regretted skipping burning man
-broke my iphone screen
-made friends with the ex of my ex.
-argued with my mother about gay marriage
-performed some mediocre burlesque
-wore a dreadhawk
-touched various parts of my boyfriend's body
-suffered with depression
-left the living dead girlz
-saw amanda palmer's boobs
-voted for obama
-ripped my pants while celebrating obama's election
-cuddled with my cat
-worked two serving jobs at the same time. i made more money than i ever have. i was also more tired and depressed than i had been all year.
-laughed way too hard about a squirrel
-attended some art shows
-toyed with self-portraits
-enjoyed random evenings that were exactly what i want for my adult life all the time
-got a digital camera
-started taking cymbalta
-stopped taking cymbalta when my meds ran out (will start on them again)
-started a (now nearly defunct) fashion blog
-posed for an african-themed photoshoot with fightingwords
-attended my brother's 40th birthday
-posed topless in seattle for a zivity shoot
-dressed as Uhura for halloween
-alienated myself almost entirely from my social circle
-questioned what i was doing with my life more than i actually lived it
-did nothing that filled me with dazzling, life-affirming terror
-got spanked with a riding crop at a sex club
-attended a fetish ball
-started writing about a dozen various short stories and screenplays
-neglected coloring my hair on a regular basis
-did stand-up comedy, and people laughed
-attended dinner parties
-tackled some weighty life challenges
-confided in good new/old friends
-got sick more times than i can count
-attended a sleepytime gorilla museum show for the first time
-swooned watching my boyfriend shove people at the above mentioned show. i like scrappy guys.

and much more that i can't recall at the moment

all in all, i let the year slip by me. each day saying, "i'll do it tomorrow." or, "i'll do it later."

thus, even with all of the awesome that i wouldn't trade for the world, i'm still really grateful this year is finally over. may 2010 bring the productivity, passion, and creativity that i am way overdue for. may it also be a stellar one for you as well.

goodbye 2009. goodbye decade. don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Edu coaxed me out of bed and now I´m at the other hostel with the Chileno, the Uruguayan, and a hoard of shirtless Brazilian guys, who keep giving me beer. (´Why didn´t you bring girls?´ they ask. 'Duuuuh!` I say in my head. `Put on some AC/DC´, they say. I put on Dimmu Borgir.)

Sadly, I forgot the memory card in my camera...not that I´ll forget this afternoon any time soon.

I´m gonna take this as an omen for the new year. The Brazilenos...and the mysterious parrot on the roof.

They all just went out to buy me more beer. In a little bit Chileno´s gonna start an orgy cooking everyone an asado.